Vitamin D

It was something like 2,195 posts. Unfinished posts. Posts that I deemed unworthy or were just half a thought, lazily typed out on the screen never given the recognition or perseverance it would take to finish them. Therefore never posted, just laying there in the back of the closet like a plastic bag full of old clothes to be taken to goodwill. With the knowledge that there will always be tomorrow. To drop 'em off. To pick up where I left off.

That's sorta how my life has been lately, it seems. Both beautifully quiet and slow but certainly not deliberate. I don't plan my days around goals. No checklist in hand of what has to be accomplished. Yes, the bills must be paid. Yes, the house must be clean. Yes, I must go to work. But God, the weather outside. . . .

I woke up this morning. Rolled over in bed and suddenly couldn't image ever leaving this place. The weather beckons me to come out and play. Most of the time I do.

I recently quit a job I worked at for (tops) 6 weeks. It was draining. And stressful. And demanding. And nothing about it was what I was about. I felt like a tourist in an exotic land. Taking in the landscape. Formulating thoughts and impressions about this strange place, but certainly aware that I would never be commited to staying there. So the day before my 27th birthday, in a very uncharacteristic manner, I quit. Said "thanks but no thanks. It's not for me." And left.

So I may not know what I am supposed to do with this little life of mine, but I a part of me now knows what i am NOT supposed to do. I need to do something that is meaningful, that is represenative of my free spirit, of my desire to go out into the sun and play.

I've gone back to selling books for the meantime. Part-time. The rest of the time you can find me outdoors while the weather is still good. I know in a few weeks, the heat and humidity will force me indoors. I'll clean out the closet of old unfinished posts and resume the activities of a responsible adult.

But for now, I am just so damn happy.