Merry Christmas!

What would Christmas be without a little manical cleaning? I spent the better part of last night cleaning the entire condo (i'm using the word entire liberally here, this condo is the size of my studio apartment with an added wall between the bedroom and the living room/kitchen/dining room/family room) because I couldn't stand it ONE MINUTE LONGER! It was quite obviously that slacking on my house wife duties last week made me a little crazy; it was not my intention to spend Christmas night combing the house over with a dust rag and a broom.

Needless to say, it was a different kind of Christmas this year - no real christmas tree (instead we used the fake ficus in the corner to put our one gift under), no snow (i believe the temperature lingered around a chilly 78 degrees), no big dinner with family (we ate leftovers), no real gift exchange (N got me a necklace but I didn't get him anything), no wrapping paper littering the house (the few gifts we did get were mostly gift cards sent by parents and we do have a few misc. amazon boxes laying around).

Instead we did what any 2 family-less-ness people would do: go to a ridiculously early movie (Juno - it's great. go as soon as you can), return the rental car to the airport just to pick up another one, read & play xbox, clean, and think of all the great restuarants we would like to go to if only understanding restaurant owners would forgo their christmas plans with family to assist those without plans or family to make it feel like just another day of the year. It makes the sting of being away from home a lot less painful. Okay? Thanks.

Suprisingly, I finally managed to get all of the christmas gifts for family ordered and shipped. I did miss out on the essential Amazon.com free shipping AND the presents will be arriving late because I refused to pay the extra $30 for one-day shipping despite the guilt trip offered up by said company: "Are you 100% positive that you want to ruin your niece's 3rd christmas by not having your gift under the tree that magical morning? She's at a very impressionable age and she may begin to think that Santa doesn't really care about her or worst yet her aunt and uncle don't care. Do you really want to be that person not to pay the additional $30 to make her holiday dreams come true? Really?"

Yes, i said. Dr Seuss can wait a week.

Ok, I might exaggerate, but only slightly.

I hope all of you had a great Christmas full of hot chocolate, more food comsumption than your body could handle, restful afternoon naps, your dreams wrapped in frosty the snowman wrapping paper, great kinship with friends & family and memories that will last a lifetime if you can only remember them the next day (you may have had a bit too many candy cane martinis) .

Merry Christmas
(a day late, just like your presents)

The First Day

I was going through old e-mails and found this. This e-mail was the from the first day N left to go down to the Keys for FEMA.

It feels like another lifetime. . . .

i have this thing. that although you probably don't care that much about what i did with my day - the small trials and tribulations such as filling out my self eval for work. or the rejoicing: succeeding in hiding behind the student in front of me as to not get called on by my professor and forced to answer questions that i don't know because i didn't do the assigned readings - i still feel it somehow imperative to tell you about it. cause i tell you everything. everyday. and it just feels right. nothing more. nothing less.

the self eval sucked. basically. if you want the long and the short of it. yes, i have taken on krista's responsibilities which on paper don't boil down to too much but when taken into a larger context that's a hell of a lot of additional work. who knew that krista called ahead to place orders for spoons, paper plates, etc. I personally though the employee showed up with the supplies and replenished them as needed. small particular like that don't fall into the 150 word space you're alotted. i can just imagine you know how i feel about that . . .

but i grinned and beared it. finished it. updated my resume in bdis. which did not look pretty mind you taking into context my job experience and those of my fellow (more elderly) co-workers. they're established. i'm still roaming. but i did it. got it done. handed it in. we'll see how the review goes. hopefully something better will come out of it rather than just the 2.75% raise i was told.

carrie met me for lunch to lift my spirits. it helped. a lot. i'm am so grateful for her friendship and her willingness to compromise sleep, etc to make me feel better.

yosse was on my heels all day asking if i needed anything - pop, etc. it was a nice gesture, but for the most part i just wanted to be left alone today. if anyone asked about you it was hard not to cry so i just did my best to avoid all contact with everyone.

i have a lot of homework for the weekend. a art history test next thursday so i'll need to work on my readings for that class this weekend. no matter how much i love you or how grateful i am to spend every second i can with you, i know this experience will be helpful to my grades. have nothing else to do, why not excel at school?

this morning after i dropped you off i accomplished a lot. dropped your dte bill in the mail. also dropped off your end of contract $. I looked for a drop box inside the door where you get your cookies. one of the employees saw me roaming around there at 6:30 in the morning and asked if he could help me. he probably thought i was some crazy woman off her medication :) but that's taken care of. went back to your apt and finished up the laundry. took my stuff home. made breakfast and went to work.

will try and go to apt this weekend and clean out the fridge and start packing up the kitchen. any thing you want left out for when you return?

oh, one more thing i turned off your computer this morning. hope that's ok.

if i don't talk to you tonight. have a good one. be safe. sweet dreams. i love you.
L

Follow Up

I personally like the idea of having a picture on the front of your credit card. Then whether or not you decide to sign your credit card there is another form of id available to hinder credit theft.

What The . . . ?

I'm not so angry about standing in line at the Post Office for an hour, but I am fuming that they refuse to "accept" unsigned credit cards. It didn't matter that I had my ID with me. They still wouldn't accept it. So I finally relented and signed the damn card and handed it to her. She then actually had the nerve to ask for my ID.

Once I had taken a deep breath and told myself that the Post Office's policies were not the work of the woman standing in front of me, I asked her if she knew why that policy was in place. "I don't know," she said "they've never told us."

Awesome. I love GREAT ideas that have no explanation attached to them.

A Conversation Between Friends

"My friend is pregnant . . . and distraught."
"You should go see her."
"Would that be inappropriate?"
"No."
"Will you come with me?"
"No! I don't even know this person."
"But you're my best friend and you always know what to say in these kind of situations."
"The only thing inappropriate would be me coming along."
"So what should I say?"
"Say everything will be ok."
"Should I take vodka?"
"Probably not, considering the circumstances."

E.X.H.A.U.S.T.E.D

After a particular grueling workout, I am actually considering wearing pajama bottoms out in public.

Heresy.

Backstreet's Back, ALL RIGHT!

Remember this guy? Yeah, I didn't expect you would. It's Howie from the Backstreet Boys and yesterday as N & I aimlessly wandered around downtown Orlando we stumbled upon a horse drawn carriage that contained these two. Yes, confirmed Perez Hilton, Howie and his long time girlfriend were married in downtown Orlando yesterday. They then headed to their reception in what?! That's right, a horse drawn carriage.

Apparently, the other BSB where in attendence and while I did see a lot of guys in tuxes mulling around the streets, I just didn't make the connection. I guess, I just never thought that Orlando was a Z-list hot spot.

It's funny how life sometimes comes full circle. It wasn't too many years ago that C & I rushed home from school and sat on the edge of our seats waiting for the new BSB video to premier on TRL. She was going to become Mrs. Littrel and I wanted to head down the aisle to become Mrs. Carter.

These days, I don't think either of us would wish that on our worst enemy. Afterall, did you get a chance to watch the delectable and completely dysfunctional House of Carter (on E!)?

All in all, I can say that was the my first celebrity encounter (even though it was less encounter and more, well, happenstance) if you don't count the time i ran into Lee VanAmeyde at Target where as I roamed through rows of christmas delights and sang softly to myself various christmas carols he looked at me and said "don't think because you're singing christmas carols i'm going to put you on tv." I just looked at him for a moment and continued pushing my cart down the aisle.

Luck

Have an interview in about a 1/2 hour.

I really don't know what to think of all this. Sometimes life makes the decisions for you, and there's nothing left to do but hold on and see how it all plays out.

Morning Glory

*For larger image, please click on the picture*

This could have been a good blog entry . . .

I'm having considerable problems with my camera lately. It's not allowing me to transfer pictures to my computer. It's supposed to automatically upload the new images to the computer when I turn it on but apparently pissed off it's being used so much because it's stomping it's feet like a 2 year old and refusing to follow through with my requests. I took a great picture this morning and wanted to post it to the blog, but all you're gonna get is my rant about said camera because it's NOT COOPERATING!

But maybe, just maybe, if we can't fix it this will mean I can upgrade to a real camera soon. That would be thrilling beyond belief but expensive as hell. Once upon a time N wanted a camera with all the bells and whistles but that was before I ruined his camera and since then he has kind of given up on the dream. So if we did get a camera, I imagine it would be more for me than us. Who knows, maybe he would get the bug again . . .

I went to bed at 6pm last night. I had been feeling awful all day (all week actually) - migraine, sneezing, sniffling - and finally just cut my losses and told my body it could take a break from all things productive. Earlier in the day I had tried to curb the pain with a good dose of shopping but when I couldn't make a clear headed choice between that black patent leather clutch OR that black patent leather clutch I threw my hands in the air and went home. Today, i'm feeling considerably better although it's still touch and go. Hopefully i'll be back on my feet before too long.

Maybe tomorrow i'll write a real entry. . .

For now, I think i'm gonna go take some more ibprofuen & take a shower.

Days & Nights

It's 3.30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I never have a problem falling to sleep (my friends & family would attest that I have probably set records in that category) but i always seem to wake up in the middle of the night. It's not a problem when i'm not working or going to school, i kind of enjoy the silence of the middle of the night. The solitude. The stillness. Most of all the stillness.

Went for my morning walk yesterday. Glorious, simply, glorious. Early in the morning, the sun cast a warm vanilla hue over the land. The fog started to lift off the earth, buoyant from the heat of the sun, the clouds returning back to their home in the sky. Absolutely breathtaking. I am learning to be thankful for every moment my feet remain planted on the ground.

Move into the new condo today. Yesterday when we go the keys for it was really the first time i got to see it. I drove there wondering if it would feel like home, i crave the semblance of home when i'm here. Just someplace where I can hang my hat and feel comfortable. I've learned hotels are not that place, no matter how hard we try to create them to be. I arrived at the condo, stepped in and immediately. . . breathed. Yes, much better. Much better indeed.

Looking for something to do - a book club, volunteering, a hobby, maybe even a part-time job if we can swing it with one car. Now that the wedding has passed, the thank you's written, the unemployment issue adverted (for at least a time, the search must go on however) & we've found a better place to live, I find myself alone too much in a big city where I know very few people. I need to do something to make friends, acquaintances at the very least. I want to feel useful & productive again. At the very least, I really should start fueling my energy into writing, photography and Chic & Green. Also, there's the possibility of working alongside Home Away From Home, which would absolutely delight me.

There is no lack of opportunities or ingenue, I just need to dive head first and learn to not be afraid of outcomes.

Off to bed, long day of unpacking ahead.