Fire, Puke, Ticks & Great Shoes

Since i've gotten home:

I found a tick crawling across my counter in all it's buggy creepiness. I killed it with the bottom of a glass and then on went on a rampage through the house checking sheets, couch cushions & my furry little friend, Matisse, for all things tick. He didn't appear to have anything, but i swear to god i've developed a rash on my bum since it's discovery.

Ruined my favorite pair of brown shoes because I wrongly assumed that shoe polish was a "one size fits all scenario." Meaning, that if i bought a brown colored shoe polish it would magically evolve in all it's magical-ness to match the color of my shoe. So even though I wikipedia'd how to polish a shoe, it didn't answer my questions so I went ahead with the mahogany colored shoe polish on a dark brown shoe and then wondered why it wasn't transforming. I kind of feel like Jessica Simpson thinking Buffalo Wings were really Buffalo Meat. Or Chicken of the Sea, Chicken.

Set off the fire alarms with my cooking. I had accidentally left an old pizza box in the oven and 6 weeks later when i returned i turned on stove and wondered after about 10 minutes of it warming up why there was a funky smell of burning. When my nose finally connected with my brain, i ran to the stove, opened it up and pulled a smoking box from the inside. I ran with the smoking box to the patio, stepped outside, realized i had no pants on and dropped the box and ran back inside. Classy eh?

Cleaned up a big pile of puke this morning. Matisse has been relentlessly chewing on bones since my return home and i think his stomach may have gotten a little upset due to the excessive amount of cow hide in his gut. Regardless, it was a nice wake up call. While in Florida, i had really missed getting on my hands & knees & scraping bits of food out of the carpet.

I still haven't unpacked because I just don't even know to begin to deal with this:
If there was a prize for the worst closet setup, this apartment complex would take 1st place. Completely useless.










I can't even take a good picture. Case in point below. That picture could be total frame worthy if the camera had not been set on the ACTION! setting.











I guess my whole life has kind of felt off kilter since my return. I guess i'm just not the same without N.

On the bright side, the shoes below are brand new (in the original box w/ tags), all leather stilettos. . . .
and were a whopping $.99 @ Salvation Army!!!! In the words of P. Hilton, that's HOT!